TLDR: Our current studio is shit and we need to get out a.s.a.p. We have found a new location and since I don’t want to move all of the yarn and fibers, do me a favor and come buy some!
You probably have seen some haunted house movies. You know, the ones in which a happy family acquires a new abode, a fixer upper in need of some TLC. The perfect start to a fresh new chapter in life!
Off course their house is cursed by the previous owners, haunted by Victorian ghosts that got killed there, built on an old graveyard, has mole people living in the walls, rents out the root cellar to deadites and has a gate to hell in the compost heap. There is probably a dead grandparent or two in the attic fermenting away, we haven’t dared look…
So let me start at the beginning; 18 months ago. We went from our tiny apartment bedroom to a dedicated studio, in which we planned to grow our company and get Undercover Otter out to more corners of the world.
After about a month in the new studio, there were some things that still needed sorting, like after any move really. We were assured the water and ventilation would get sorted shortly, but it all kept being postponed by an unseen force…
5 months passed and there still was no water, drain or ventilation in the studio. Well, I say there was no water, but that’s a bit of a fib. There was water. It was coming straight through the ceiling after every rain shower.
It’s at that point in a movie that I normally roll my eyes and start yelling at the actors on screen that they should just grab their shit and get out. In reality though, we were at the 10 month mark in our studio. Water and sewage had been hooked up (after a mere 7 months…), still no ventilation though and the leak in the roof started whispering ominously. We have gotten some professional ghostbusters in and their diagnosis was devastating… We are the victims of the vilest demon of demons, the much reviled “Lord of Land”.
In the movies they try seances, exorcisms, cleansing rituals and other techniques to get ghosts and demons out of their property, so we decided to do the same and communed with the Lord of Land, in the hope of coercing it into action. Alas, our attempt merely angered the Lord of Land and the whispering leak started gushing blood while talking to us about reruns of Desperate Housewives.
We need to get out before the Desperate Housewife Void fully consumes our souls.
We have found a new studio space, that so far has shown no demonic traces and are moving there a.s.a.p. We would appreciate it if you, our fellow exorcists, ghostbusters and monster hunters, would buy as much yarn as you can from us, so we don’t have to move it to the new studio.